I'm happy for you; HEARTACHE

I wondered which hurts more,saying something & wishing I hadn't or saying nothing and wishing I had?

In my life I meet people,some I never think about again, some I wonder what happened to them, there are some that I wonder if they ever think about me and then there are some I wish I never had to think about again... but I do. I guess the reason I cherish memories so much,is because they're the only things in life that never change.

It's amazing, some people, they just say these small little things, one sentence and it changes the way I feel about them in an instant. Small little words that can hurt me so much or make me fall deeply in love forever. It changes everything, nothing between me is ever really the same again, even if they don't know it, it still happens.

Time goes by so fast; people go in and out of my life. I must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to me. I remember how hongkongdrama used to tell "Don't marry the person you can live with. Marry the person you can't live without."

What is really a great love? It's when you shed a tear and you still long for her. It's when she ignores you and you still love her. It's when she loves another, and you still smile and say "I'm happy for you" :'(

p/s~ If I asked him, would he even know what your smile meant? ....

i need to give up~

The days grow longer as I sit in my chair watching time slip slowly by. I have to give up!

Motivation has become almost non existent. I wait for illness to come and visit me. I can feel my body slowly deteriorating, my chest becoming congested, my limbs becoming useless. The truth is I can find no reason to get up and do anything. Even writing these words takes a massive effort.

I don't know how this situation has come about and I don't know how the hell to get my motivation back. In fact I don't see the point of anything any more. Just sit around and wait for the grim reaper to come and take me I suppose.

It's funny though how my conscience still keeps nagging me. I read the words that I have just written and I feel guilty. Guilty because people are still doing things around me. I should get off my bottom and help, contribute, earn my keep. But I can't do it because, to me, there is no point. Humdrum days.

I don't like me very much. I am not proud of my mental self - they have deteriorated into deep decay. I even disgust myself by whining on in this journal. DO SOMETHING FELIX! I can't. Why not? I don't know. Isn't that the easy way out? I guess so. Well why don't you take the hard way out? Because I follow the path of least resistance. Is that not cowardly? No, it saves me from more pain.
And so the arguments go on in my mind.

I wish I could tell my friends who looked after me that my quality of life is so poor that thoughts of ending it all are never very far from the front of my mind. But I won't succumb to them will I?

It's ok; me being able to sit here and write all this crap but what does it do for me? Actually, on reflection, this diary of depression has helped put me in touch with some lovely people who either suffer the same illness or who knows a fellow sufferer. Even one small ray of sunshine on a grey day helps me to tolerate my existence.

go go go; storm the front

Letting go isn't about winning or losing. it's not about pride, it's not about dwelling on the past. it's not about loss or defeat. it's learning, experiencing, and growing. letting go is to be thankful of the moments that made you laugh, made you cry, made you grow. it's about all that you have and all that you had. it's the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. it's growing up.

you've been running around for the past year with absolutely no direction. you didn't know what you wanted. all you knew was that he was always there, always in your head, always under your skin...

the irony of love is loving the right person at the wrong time &; having the wrong person when the time is right &; finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life. for some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love. love is always present. it's just that one was being loved too much &; the other was being loved too little. we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. so here's a piece of advice: let go when you're hurting too much. give up when love isn't enough, and move on when things are not like before.....

there will come a time in your life when you become infatuated with a single soul. for this person, you'd do almost anything without even thinking about it. when asked why, you have no answer. you'll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do. you'll try to deny it and try to make excuses to avoid facts. as much as you try, you'll never truly be able to avoid your feelings. no matter how badly it hurts, or how badly you hate it, you'll love this person for the rest of your life- without regret.~

when you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults. you don't look for answers. you don't look for mistakes. instead, you fight the mistakes. you accept the faults & you overlook excuses. the measure of love is when you love without measure. there are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love & who loves you in return. so once you have it, don't ever let go. the chance might never come your way again.

Tonight as I sit here listening to music and trying to find words to write, I wonder when you dream, do you hear the words I whisper; listening to beautiful music wash over me, I can only feel the deep longing inside for the part of me that has been missing for so long. That part of me is you. How do I quiet these whispers of my heart? When you sit with your morning drink, waking from sleep, do you read the words on this page... If so is there a knowing, that whisper deep inside that says, “I have found you.” There are many days I wonder this and I doubt the things I have been given. It is my time, for what reason I cannot be sure. I have found you, there can be no mistake, but perhaps this is all there is to be. Time moves in strange ways and it does not always find us together. Time has walked with us before, of this I am certain, and time will once again find us together. Who can say when this will be, for none of us can move time. We can only walk with it, finding, if we are fortunate, those we have always know ....

xo p/s~ “It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”

Hidden words

In case I never tell you, there are so many reasons I love you. I’ve never been able to tell anyone this before. I suspect it was because I didn’t truly love them.

This beautiful agony of love that fills and tortures me with one look, one word has made me your prisoner. How I wish at times, I had never looked up that day, and seen your eyes. Had I not heard the words that wrapped a spell around my heart, and seen you as one so genuine, true and good, I could rest easy, undisturbed by this love of mine. But I would rest alone, with empty dreams, never knowing. So I remain your prisoner of love, gladly. For I would know you in this world, no matter how far away you are, than have anyone else here, by my side...

I love your eyes, they are so beautiful and they show so many different emotions.(alothou those were contacts i guess:) They let me see so much about you without any words. When you smile, I feel it to the end of my toes, and when you laugh it fills me. When you speak, your words are a part of my soul, and my heart hears the unspoken words. You have a way with words, whether gentle or filled with passion. You have the courage to say what needs to be said and the way to say these things, so people will listen. You have a gentle soul, one that wanders through this world, perhaps in your own world at times, but you are strong as well, and the world is yours to master.

These are just some of the things that come to me tonight. No, I am not lost in love, for with you I could never be lost. I am found, safe, home at last...

According to him, I’m beautiful/incredible ; funny/irresitable. That’s orianthi sang sang in her chorus for hence the starting of the entry “according to you”. Well she might be the new avril lavigne dynamic, pintsized, beautiful and a chic rocking a guitar =D As often as we should praise or sent text of encouragement or empowerment to the oppositesex; well what’s not to love about them? They look prettier, hug-able, smell better, and those smiles just wipes all the stresses and problems right off your world if it’s only for awhileJ

But the problem is we men; never tend to understand or pick when is the right time to send out this kinda signals. Well some might say it’s just pure sweet-talking or just pure angelic intentions, it happens all the time, if not mostly. Had my lesson taught by this sweetheart from Bandar, yeah I mean I liked her not to the extend of loving her but she felt the opposite. When the oppositesex said that she misses you, what do you reply? Or no reply? It may seem so rude to not reply a text sms, I replied with “likewise, I miss you too” as a friendly gesture or returning of a sweet flavour. Things got out of hand after erm I lost count how many sweet-indulged smses we’ve been trading…

It took about a few days to get her intention and signal, I was slowpoked to notice because it was the world cup hehe. But I wasn’t interested, it’s not like she wasn’t pretty , the matter of fact she’s one hottie and have the smarts tooL

Well sorta speaking, I’m no Casanova nor really goodlooking… Why in the world would I reject such feelings for me? insecurities? I sound like a sissy-.-“ ok men do get insecure like women, it’s just that we don’t express them like women do. Even the blind could tell I was ignoring her texting, msn and phonecall; silly excuses were used wc, sleeping, tired and joggin; I did went to jog thou J well I came to my senses and decided to ask her what’s going on with her? BAD IDEA NOW THAT’S WHAT I MEANT BAD TIMING…

Got absolutely battered; my spiderman like senses took me into an eyeful and an earful good golly. Atleast I kept my cool, I do not argue with women. Well maybe some of them; I even had the nerve to ask her what she wanted from me; YOU. Gulp didn’t knew I was that wanted, after trying to explain I liked where we were but no more then that maybe in the future. This women couldn’t take no for an answer, ignorance was a bliss at this moment; where’s that imaginary friend that john mayer sang about? I do need one right now L or she needed one J

Guess what? I’ve got mail! not the meg ryan movie im talking about”you’ve got mail” I think, such a nice movie but I forget what the title was L haha ~ there you go:

I feel in love with you

and then you broke my heart,

i knew never to love a player,

i was wrong from the start . . .

Loving you was like ripping out

my heart.

I refused to looked around me

and see.

All the terrible things you were

doing to me,

i was in my own world and i

didn`t see all the trouble you

were,

i was deeply in love.

Now that`s all ruined, you see,

all becaused you played me,

you had looks,

you were slick with your

words.

You knew just what to say,

i was foolish to think

we were made for each other,

i always prayed you

would never love another,

i wanted us to always be with

each other.

Loving a player is one of the

hardest thing ever,

i have learned a lot

from my experiences with you

my heart was broken into two.

I know now, as i look back on

my past.

Dating a player will never last,

so, in my future i`ll watch what

i do,

i won`t date anymore players.

But i`ll still always love you .

A mere weak smile is all I managed after reading thru the last part ; when did I become a player. For Christ sake; this teaches you not to put too much emphasis/caring/encouragement/playfulness into words. You might get carried away sometimes or the receiver might receive mixed emotions, choose your words carefully and think before you press sendJ I can’t stop nor fault them because I picked my own poison; so sorry for the hurt that occur. Hope she doesn’t read my blog; I do feel sadL~ loliies

Xoxo p/s~ “think before you act, small misunderstandings leads to big consequences”

Q U O T E

Since I’m really bored right now, and I have absolutely nothing to do, I’ll post up some of my favorite quotes. Uhm, I might get a little carried away, so there might be more than “some”. They’re really nice though. [:

“Beauty is not based on how attractive we are to everybody else, but how attractive we are to ourselves, for one cannot think other people think they are full of beauty unless they know they are beautiful too.”

“Just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do. I’ve learned that life is like hour glass sand. Sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom, but all you have to do is be patient and wait for something to turn everything back around.”

“Love is the greatest feeling you will ever have, yet it is also one of the greatest sorrows. There is so much suffering, but then there are times when the crying, pain, and heartache is worth it. Those moments are perfect, they are right. Those moments make all the suffering worth while. It’s those moments we should live for.”

“Remember that the truest love, is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.”

“I’ve learned that things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean you forget the past or try to cover it up; it simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren’t meant to be.”

“Just because people change and move on with life, it doesn’t mean that they love you any less.”

“To love someone is to understand each other, to laugh together, to smile with your heart and to trust one another. One important thing is to let each other go if you can’t do this.”

“If you are willing to trust in a person when all others tell you to go against it, if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken because you believe in that other person, Then that is true love.”

“To truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail. If it survives, it is going to be stronger than ever. Distance is pure proof of this, and forever we will love if we survive.”

“Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.”

“Don’t let your mind rule over your heart.”

“Don’t ever give up if you still want to try, don’t ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don’t ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don’t ever say you don’t love him if you can’t let him go.”

“Giving away a heart can hurt … having a broken heart can be life threatening, even to the strongest people. But, receiving one is the greatest gift.”

“I loved you once, I love you still, I always have, I always will…”

“If I die before you then my love will linger forever around you. And when you change your mind, and wish to be with me, I will greet you at heaven’s gates with the same love and the same loving arms we knew in life.”

“Maybe the reason why I haven’t found who I’ve been searching for is because I know that I’ve already found him. It’s just up to him to say whether I am who he has been waiting for..”

“Advice is only asked to be given when you know the true answer; you just don’t want to believe it.”

Romance

I’ve got to be honest. Of all the subjects that I’ve written has given me sleepless nights. Emo? Yes. Love? Guess again. How to treat a women right? Grims. Romance? OMG! And I suppose that really is the heart of the problem for us guys. When it comes to romance we’re…well…pretty crap really! :S

For me it’s an age thing, I think. I started off well when I was at primary school, painstakingly coming up with heartfelt rhymes every valentine’s day. You know the deal; huge, padded card that needed its own seat with hundreds of “lurve” opems on the inside. Haha. “Roses are red, violets are blue, most girls smell apart from you”. Unfortunately my handwriting resembled a drunk spider with inky feet; I tend to smudge the ink all over the pages. Darmned parkerspen.

Into my late teens, I had a fair bit of money from bets or gaming events and I could be a bit more adventurous. No longer did I need the excuses of valentine’s day or birthday; I could go for the surprise gift; the sort that just says “you mean everything to me”. Those kinda of me2u bears, cardholders and other sorta crap; on that period of my life I did mature quite dramatically once in my later teens.

In my first BIG relationship I was always coming up with romantic gestures; birthday trip to Bandar for the weekend, or just cruise down to miri. But if I’d taken my other half with me it probably would have been a little more lovey-dovey I suppose. I’m kidding of course but looking back perhaps I just needed an excuse for a holidayJ

Of course there were the candlelit dinners, flowers and chocolates but somewhere along the way it all got forgotten. And I don’t think I’m alone in that respect. Perhaps it’s something to do with the way technology has impacted or screwed how we communicate with each other; the love letters we used to post started to be replaced by emails; and now look even the email has been superseded by the text so the hot date you took out on Friday get a max of 160 characters on a Saturday morning along with lines of “Gr8 2cu yesterday, LOL @ d movi, U ok 4 MON? L8R” WTF is wrong with poklen textin nowadays~ wouldn’t that just convince you it was a match made in heaven? Thank god I don’t text like that. J

However there is hope for us just about lost causes; the INTERNET, perfect for the couch potato living inside all of us. I did a search on “romantic gestures” and ended up at a site called www.askmen.com that said ‘relationship are like glaciers’ and they had some interesting tips on putting the chilli padi back into coupledommm.

From the obvious ‘breakfast in bed’ to a ‘shoulder massage’ there were some good starters.”obviously we are asians; typical asians guys stay with their parents till their late 20’s and how could we do those above if it doesn’t upset your parents.rofl” My favourite was from someone who wrote in saying theirs parents always slow dance to their favourite song; even if they were around shopping or dining. Now isn’t that romantic? Just don’t try it at a restaurant or a open-aired foodcourt. J

You would think then that I’d be apathetic about vday or a bday. I’m not. It acts as a great reminder; a big relationship signpost; a marker on the sand; a date for your diary. Or rather, the lazy man’s way out! So I’ll be good to go. Chocolates, cards, love notes left round inside her bag or jacket and flowers- all sorted. And I am ready to go!

W O R D S

Forgive me tonight, as I can’t think of anything beautiful to write. Still, you rest in my heart, as you do every minute of every day. Words, fall from my heart, words not destined for pages of long , but those words are heartfelt.

Some would call this love I hold in my heart foolishly, and would have me keep that love for another. They do not see, and I cannot explain. There is no other for me, nor will there be in this life. What may not be right for another; breathes life into my soul.

There are many things I have learned from this life, some about love. You can be with someone every day of your life and still be all alone, and you can be separated by oceans and be together always.

Tonight, when I sit and reminisce, I will be thinking of you. The moon will hear the words I say, the blessings I send, and the wishes I hold in my heart, not only for me, but for you...

I will send these things to you in the rainy gloomy night, along with all the love I hold in my heart. May the gentle breeze carry my words to you, and may sweet dreams always fill your sleep... Dearest;

xoxo p/s ~ "A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, and find out that in the end it’s never meant to be and you just have to let go.":')

wondering

In case you’re wondering, if it all changed tomorrow; my heart would stay the same. If you became invisible to the world, I would still see you. No matter where this life leads you, my love will stay constant. When the day is done and the lights go out, I’ll be here sending that love your way. So remember that when the days get long and you wonder who is out there and i will be there waiting for you. I fell in love with the women inside not the pretty package. No matter what happens, you will always have a place in my heart that cannot be replaced...

C R U S H

I can say that i've a crush on a person; if you have a feeling for her and you care what is happening in her life and what so ever; you accept their personality for the good or bad. You can say that you have a crush of improving feelings for her if you find personalities of a person you like. You try to find out some stuff about that person to see if you're compatable. I would say that you know when you have a crush on someone when you start thinking about them every minute of the day, you care about them in a way that you wouldn't usually and you always care about what they think about you. You get a weird feeling in your heart and mind whenever they are around you...

Sometimes, feelings for a crush can be confusing because you aren't sure how to act around her. You could have mixed feelings. When you see her, a part of you might feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide. Another part of you might imagine your crush noticing you and sharing the same feelings; i wish she would(not in a 1000000years)~ even though you know she will probably never will. It's still fun to imagine! YEAH RIGHT ZZZZ. You might or might not want to tell other people who your crush is. It can be fun to talk with friends about it, but sometimes even the closes of friends teases about crushes. Getting teased is never fun,D: When you have a crush on someone and you find out that she likes you, too, it's a wonderful beautiful feeling like my friend dominiquejong always said at the club. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. It's hard to find out that the person you like doesn't feel the same way about you. You might feel sad, disappointed, and rejected.I wouldn't wanna feel that; those feelings can last for a while and very LONG WHILE, but they will eventually fade.

The best thing for me in this situation is to just wait. You never open a door with a person that has a door open with another person. She is a good girl yet playful, and i am trying to be respectful. Deep down, I don't think she'll respect me if i told her that i liked her while she's in a relationship. The best thing for me to do, is be a friend, date other girls, and wait it out. If my feelings for her are as deep as i've said they're(1year; a crush that last 1year ZZZ), Then they will not die out. Then if she ever breaks up, i'll be in the wing waiting; but ohwell the matter of fact is i don't even stand a chance or never in my wildest dream she would even think of me...

no x's or o's for toniite; SIGHS. I WILL BE/LEONALEWIS PLAYIN D':

p/s ~ "It is not telling you how I feel that scares me it's what you'll say back." dilemmamuch

Walkaway

as i watch the raindrops falling tonight as i witness the raindrops breaking silence i found myself dreamin of you i draw your face in the sky because i miss you i can see your eyes staring back at me ohwell; how i wish it is the look of love i am seeing in you i love you my dearest but as i look deeply into your soul i realize that those eyes don't mean at all staring at me blankly, lifeless, without love..

, sighs..

LOVE HURTS;

Love hurts when the one you love does not love you back. Love hurts when you find out the one you love, loves someone else. Love hurts when you give up your beliefs to make love work and it doesn't work. Love hurts when you get married to the one you love and it meant nothing to the one you love. Love hurts so much you feel like dying because you wonder if you can ever love again. Love is supposed to be special but how can it be if Love does not work. Love is what I was looking for when I found you because the one that I truly loved was here all along on earth right around me. Love hurts when everything about you is taken away. You could have done me a favor and stabbed me in the heart because i have no use for it now. Thank you for showing me the true meaning of love. Love hurts.....................

LOVE..THE MYSTERY IT GIVES. H U R T

As I sit infront of my table having my own time with the silence of the night while the rain drops falls quietly onto the roof,there was this question that keeps on knocking in my mind..."why does love hurts?" I am aware that I am not the only one who thought about this obnoxious fact,but really...why does it hurts???:(

I am no longer a newbie about love and haven't been in a couple of relationship that during those time i believed it's almost perfect...I can still remember the first one which gave me the feeling of having butterflies on my tummy,or that time when i held her hand and I felt like I was the most happiest human there is; on that moment,and oh yeah you remember the time that you feel like the world stops from spinning?or how about that feeling of being on the place they called cloud nine?Those feelings are real we felt it but they're all just too good to be true to lasts...that's what i realized now (but it's really hard to wake up from this dreamy feeling)...so you experience that? and after wards what? you're going to devote yourself to your love interest,doing things that you hated to do just to prove your love,commit yourself faithfully and worship them,putting them into pedestal, offering and showering them the purity of your love that most of the time we forgot to leave even a single strand of self loving to ourselves...when we fall in love we always do this: thinking of our gf/bf first before ourselves,the question is...is it worth it?or to rephrase it,does some of them deserve it?:(

We felt that love sometimes makes us blind to notice that we fell for the wrong person but since we believed in what we feel,we just kept ignoring those signs that they are not the right one,instead we keep pushing more to make the relation work,we strive to prove that it is really what we think it is and in the end we only suffers.We can't avoid failed relationships so we have to be broad minded when it comes to commitment but lets face it,no matter how imperfect our relationship was,it still stings once it ends, maybe because we have some regrets,the and the truth that no matter how we avoid or prevent it,we are all victims of it...specially when we thought that we're in love with the person but the fact is we're just in love with love.:(

I've been there,and i was badly hurt,since then i was so cautious when it comes to love matters.As i thought that i can run away from it? Or can I just hibernate to be safe from it? Or shield myself with numbness to become exemption and deprive myself from love itself? But time came that i realized this..."I am no fool"..I am just a wishful thinker...being hurt by love is tiring...yet again once it knocks I cant just move away now and ignore it instead i welcome love with open arms,love aint that bad all the time,right?This time whatever it takes,I am a willing victim.. Shall i tell her? how i felt about her? but she is in a relationship i guess:(

...and reviewing this blog i am writing right now leaves me with dumb founded reactions...i can't really point out which is which...all i can understand now is we are all victims of love and we can do nothing with it ...when it comes to love we can't say no once it strucks,the more you run away from it the persistent it chases you,the more you ignore the feeling the more it haunts you..that's how powerful it is....to sum it all,GO.. let yourself get involve in love but dont overdo it...hahaha... now.... I stop myself from whinning about it...(sigh)....i got tired from running...now i give myself in...tonight...i will embrace love once more... Ohwell maybe not tonight XD

xo p/s ~ Love had no definitions, as they say. But it seems so right ! I dont know where it begun, and all i know, it is true and unexplainable. But why do people pretend that they love someone else even if they dont? Funniest thing in the world, PRETENDING..

LOVE ... LOVE ... LOVE ... would you consider me miss. ooops almost XD

Life ain't a fairy tale;

Well, with the future nobody knows what will lead you into. Probably there will be no next second, we don't know. Simply being simple and listen to what people said does not make your day shorter.

As for me, I can't change the opinion and decision on how people see it. There is no use for me to mention what others said was hurt. They have their own reason to do what they want to. Besides, I couldn't have tell everyone that come to me any request for explanation.

I can't say out how I feel when all the faults was put on me or you, I can't describe how I feel just like. I can't describe the pain I feel and the pain I feel now, I don't know why I was here and why I have to go through all this and yet I can't mention what was in my mind because I know it's hopeless and meaningless. No body will understand as well. Because I realize I don't want to be selfish, I don't mind to be an evil boy among the peoples heart.

I know that everyone is different, you could have your own opinion on certain things, same goes to me, and anybody else. I can't say that your opinion and decision was wrong. So whichever people was. I just have to respect it.

Life is not a fairy tale, I don't believe in it. I am tired of struggling with myself and those around me. I want to be alone. Simply to stay alone for some time.

xo p/s~ "And she finally stopped playin their song, when she realized she was dancing alone"

Treasure what you have

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grief, too short for those who rejoice but for those who love...Time is Eternity.

I still remember weeks ago when I went back to the doctor and took an X-ray. The picture came out and there was a big black spot, which proved the truth that I did not want to believe. I was at the most glittering part of my life, but it was coming to an end. Warm tears kept falling down my face, blended with the cold rain drops. I was cold, not because of the rain. I was cold inside.(okays people i am not dying; its just fiction i created^^)

I wanted to tell you I still love you, I wanted to tell you to stay, I wanted to tell you so much. In this world, if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying it would have been you. I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. I may not get the chance to cuddle in you. You may find a boyfriend by then, or I am already in heaven watching over you.

If I'm a tear, I wan to leave in your eye, roll down your face and die on your lips. But if your are a tear, I will never cry, cause I don't want to lose you. If I have one more day to live, I want to be your boyfriend. Do I have one more day? No. Too bad. I can’t be your boyfriend, not in this life. If I have wings, I want to fly down from the paradise just to see you. Do I have wings? No. Sadly. I can never see you again.

If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub, but it still can’t put off the flame of love between us. Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off? Can. So yes. I love you always.

xo p/s ~ Do not take love for granted, CHERISH IT.

Never come back

After goiing through so many stuff, what is really in your heart? Yes no point talking bout what has happened. Is all the things that has been done can only give you meaningless moment and yet what you think right now is all the right one? After all you can choose not to care, did you really ever care?

While at the same time what can a sick person do? So why not let someone who can live, get a life and live without suffering any longer like now. Maybe I don't sound positive enough:)

Properly to you, this person is inconsiderate, someone you might not hate but painful to look at, and yet you have been a fool all around being kick aside. But hey trust yourself you never had been a fool. Not you not anyone.

Just be yourself and trust that you can be someone special, someone extraordinary too. And not doing stuff which you don't wish to do. Not just because others is happy for it. It's not about selfish, it's about you know what are you doing. I know you can do it. A lot of things, it's not that there was no prove nor any clarification, it's just that there is no point to clarify it.

Never really have anyone who could have the same point of view all the time. Never did it occurred in mind there is any mistrust in you before. Not even till now. Never did the blame is put on you either. The believe in you has never change from the day one. It's OK how you see things. Because you have your will to do so and decide what you love to.

Thinking back, with your decision, yes or no isn't important anymore. My request to be forgiven, rejecting the offer, final decision not to care because you think you don't know this person might hurt you gain. I'm not angry that my request to be forgiven has never have been answer. Understand that what is in your mind.

xo p/s~ The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself

it is you or me?

Whosoever wants to live in this world with any degree of inner peace must learn how to deal with hurt feelings. It is so easy for the ego to take offense when people rub us the wrong way.

I can speak from experience; hurt feelings and I were no strangers to each other. At somepoint of life, I was extremely sensitive and suffered much because of it. Any strong word to me about some area in which I needed to improve caused deep hurt.

I thought, “Maybe she does not like me,” and this made me want to withdraw into myself. I had a hard time fighting those moods, and rationalizing didn’t help me: “Well, she could have said something encouraging to me, seeing that I’m feeling down today.”

Many persons think that they should pity themselves when criticized, and that sensitiveness brings a little relief. But such people are like the opium addict; every time she takes the drug she becomes more steeped in the habit.

Be as firm as steel against sensitiveness. Never be touchy or harbor self-pity. An oversensitive person frequently suffers in vain: generally nobody has any idea that he has a grievance, much less what it is.

So she feels further hurt in her self-created isolation. Nothing is accomplished by silently brooding over some perceived offense. It is best to remove by self-mastery the cause that produces such sensitiveness.

I realized that my self-pitying was not affecting anyone but myself; and I made up my mind: “No more hurt feelings! I am not going to give in to them anymore; they are my enemy. I can’t expect the world to change to keep me happy.

It is up to me to change.” That brought such a marvelous understanding. A wonderful sense of freedom comes when you take responsibility for your own feelings, your own happiness and peace of mind.

If you want to be around me, do not expect me to indulge you in your weaknesses and sensitivities. I have no time for that. Of course, it is good to be sensitive in the right way. God has given us senses, a mind, and feelings so that we can relate to others in this world, so that we know we are alive!

Feelings motivate the way we react and respond to our environment. God does not intend us to shut ourselves off from that communication with the world. But he expects us to learn to control those instruments.

We can communicate through positive feelings—reacting to people and circumstances with love, kindness, understanding, compassion; or through negative feelings—resentment, hatred, anger, jealousy. It is up to each of us to learn that self-control which brings happiness to ourselves and others.

Whether your words is truth from your heart, I will still appreciate it till the end of the day. I cannot go through life expecting myself to be careful with everyone. As often as I feel hurt by someone, I let my thought be, “No matter. Let me give love, let me give understanding. I be happy that for an opportunity to rise above negative feelings—an opportunity to express love and kindness toward someone who has misbehaved toward me. Never do things which you think I do not know...

Take care always~ xo

Selfish? NOT?

Regrettin for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable?

I realize no matter how people told me they understand how I feel, somehow or rather I don't really think they will. Until unless they could have feel the pain in them when those things actually happen to them.

Have you been selfish before? I think everyone did. No matter how independent you could be or how considerate you are, one never run from being selfish. Perhaps I should say "Don't sell fish in the market!"

Two days ago I was being surprise, surprise that what had happened recently. Something who make me realize things has always been the same. People get uncontrollable towards their feelings whenever they have problems. People never change... never...

All this time, no matter what problems I have, I have to solve it myself, no matter what is my decision, I don't really care to explain, what do I have to? I guess I have the rights not to, did I? And why do you care? For the sake of winning of your guessing/assumption/being busybody and the list go on, what's the purpose?

So in the end of the day when you realize you are wrong, you could have apologized and pretend nothing happen. Well, I accept it. Mainly because, I have accept, this has been part of life... time past and things change...

If you tell me you are so called independent, yes I believe one could be, but that doesn't mean you are different, doesn't mean you could have hurt some people and in the end of the day pretend nothing happen, but at the same time show how unsatisfied you are... selfishness? no?

xo p/s~

“The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.”

LOVE QUOTES?

People everywhere are falling in love, falling out of love or suffering in love. Love quotes will help you to express your deepest feelings and thoughts, during those times when words just refuse to flow out of you.It's like no matter how hard you try to phrase it, the words just don't come out right. And you're stuck and couldn't write another word. During the times where words fail you, let love quotes give you a gentle helping hand. Let love quotes help you paint out your thoughts beautifully on paper...

And i've selected some which i think are wonderfull~

1) "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

2) "I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together."

3) "I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you."

4) "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

5) "In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged."

6) "Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart."

7) "If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."

8) "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched- they must be felt with the heart."

9) "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Franklin P. Jones

10) "If I know what love is, it is because of you."

One of the most prestigious gifts of god to humans is Love. We can't live without Love. Love makes our Life more beautiful and worth living. When we fall in love, everything thing seems to be great. We feel like that the whole world has fallen beneath our feet and we are the happiest person in the world.

Love is a beautiful feeling and you need to express it your beloved. You can't take your relationship in long run without expressing your Love time to time. You can make good impression on your beloved by learning different ways of expressing Love. So here are some ways to express your feelings of Love.. TRY LOVE QUOTES :)

xo p/s~ 你好可愛, 像一個小熊一樣 haha “You are what I never knew I always wanted”

BORED BORED

I must be bored out of my skull, i am still bloggin eventhou i'm not home; at a lancenter somemore. Ohwell there's only 4 person here including me; they're minding their own business with their games and youtube-iing. Thus, i am youtube-iing too:) browsin thru songs and stuff. Okay i will have to settle with JS version of "officially missing you" and with this kinda of weather; this song is really darn ideal. Why it's ideal? two identical twins, pretty, cute, nice vocals, guitar and its a nice romantic/sad ballad..

Well i've been up the whole day, i didn't get to sleep at all. YEA AT ALL:S I was gonna go to bed at 415am and out of the blue; someone called me up and asked to accompany her to bandar to fetch some craziieasses. I reluctantly agreed to accompany this crazyperson; she arrived at 5am sharp and off we go onthis crazysleeplesslong roadtrip; stoppped over at tutong for a drink and muchiies; when over to rimba and matamata to pick up whoelse mr.tan, miss.wong and miss.shelby. The famous 3 of our JIS years HAHA :D We talked and talked in the car and miss.wong suggested that we go miri for fun; out of coincidence all 4 had their passport"i smell somethng fishy and i've a feeliin i boarded a pirate car" off we go back to my place and took my passport from my annoyed dad:P haha... Went down at 10+ and straight to dynastyhotel for some late dimsum. nyums. Whenever the cart was comin we reached out for it; patrons there thought we havent had dimsum before; chumping down anything I REALLY MEANT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT PRESENTS ITSELVES^^

After that heartAttacking, full brunch. We went to parkson and shop shop shop shop shop; the 4 jackasses could only spell out this few words "CHEAP" "OMG" "CHEAP" "WOW""CHEAP" the heck people-.-" After that few hours of gruelling CHIVARY-IING ; me and my other guyfriend became instant butler offering/was asked to hold their bags and stuff they bought; went over to starbucks got my free cup of greenteafrap courtesy of misswong:) thanks Went back to kb ; on the way back. We stopped at the fishfarm thingy along sgteraban for a smoke; mind you people who doesn't know me well i don't actually smoke:S And I AM HOME; AND NOW I AM HERE IN SERIA AT KNJ WAITIN WAITIN FOR THOSE FAGGS WHO SAID 630PM AHHHH ZZZ I WANNA SLEEEEP :'( HELP ME HAHAHAA DONT MIND MY TYPO O LACK OF SENTECING SKILLS I AM TIREDDDDDDD HEHE

Friendship?

What is friendship?

What does it take to be a good friend and make everlasting friendships? What truly is a friendship, and what does it take to have friends that last a lifetime or people that we encounter in our lives.Friendships tend to sometimes even be more deep than family. The saying we can choose our friends but we can’t choose our family comes to mind quite often. When we make a connection with a person whom we enjoy talking to, confiding in and sharing our most inner thoughts we are deeply united in a way that we may never be with our family. To have a friend we must truly be a friend, but what does this mean? Friendships that are selfish are not going to last–no selfish relationships do. In order to be a true friend you must be able to think about someone other than yourself.

What would your life be like without your friends? When thinking back in time to when we were younger, what was it like when you had no one to play with? Did you feel left out and feel as if you were missing something? Why were friends important when we were younger? Was it possibly because we wanted to be with people our own age that shared interest in playing what we did? Was this not a connection that we didn’t have with other people? Friendships would not survive without trust. Trust is one of the biggest issues that we are faced with throughout life. True friendships need trust on both sides. We must be able to fully trust this person and they must feel the same way about us. This person will be hearing our deepest feelings, listening to stories and sharing in feelings that we feel we can’t tell anyone else. If we do not feel safe about what we are exposing to them we will never be secure.

The key to making all these different types of friendships something treasured is to remember the importance of all the different types we have in our life. There will probably be no one we will be quite as united with and special as our childhood friendships. These are the ones the most history is shared with. Friends can be met at any point in your life and if you are truly a friend to them and reciprocate then they will still help fulfill our happiness. There is nothing better than sharing something happy or sad with someone we trust with all our heart. Friendships and sharing is truly the core to everything in our life and with this will come a unity of souls...

xo p/s ~ “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”