Whosoever wants to live in this world with any degree of inner peace must learn how to deal with hurt feelings. It is so easy for the ego to take offense when people rub us the wrong way.
I can speak from experience; hurt feelings and I were no strangers to each other. At somepoint of life, I was extremely sensitive and suffered much because of it. Any strong word to me about some area in which I needed to improve caused deep hurt.
I thought, “Maybe she does not like me,” and this made me want to withdraw into myself. I had a hard time fighting those moods, and rationalizing didn’t help me: “Well, she could have said something encouraging to me, seeing that I’m feeling down today.”
Many persons think that they should pity themselves when criticized, and that sensitiveness brings a little relief. But such people are like the opium addict; every time she takes the drug she becomes more steeped in the habit.
Be as firm as steel against sensitiveness. Never be touchy or harbor self-pity. An oversensitive person frequently suffers in vain: generally nobody has any idea that he has a grievance, much less what it is.
So she feels further hurt in her self-created isolation. Nothing is accomplished by silently brooding over some perceived offense. It is best to remove by self-mastery the cause that produces such sensitiveness.
I realized that my self-pitying was not affecting anyone but myself; and I made up my mind: “No more hurt feelings! I am not going to give in to them anymore; they are my enemy. I can’t expect the world to change to keep me happy.
It is up to me to change.” That brought such a marvelous understanding. A wonderful sense of freedom comes when you take responsibility for your own feelings, your own happiness and peace of mind.
If you want to be around me, do not expect me to indulge you in your weaknesses and sensitivities. I have no time for that. Of course, it is good to be sensitive in the right way. God has given us senses, a mind, and feelings so that we can relate to others in this world, so that we know we are alive!
Feelings motivate the way we react and respond to our environment. God does not intend us to shut ourselves off from that communication with the world. But he expects us to learn to control those instruments.
We can communicate through positive feelings—reacting to people and circumstances with love, kindness, understanding, compassion; or through negative feelings—resentment, hatred, anger, jealousy. It is up to each of us to learn that self-control which brings happiness to ourselves and others.
Whether your words is truth from your heart, I will still appreciate it till the end of the day. I cannot go through life expecting myself to be careful with everyone. As often as I feel hurt by someone, I let my thought be, “No matter. Let me give love, let me give understanding. I be happy that for an opportunity to rise above negative feelings—an opportunity to express love and kindness toward someone who has misbehaved toward me. Never do things which you think I do not know...
Take care always~ xo
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