Romance

I’ve got to be honest. Of all the subjects that I’ve written has given me sleepless nights. Emo? Yes. Love? Guess again. How to treat a women right? Grims. Romance? OMG! And I suppose that really is the heart of the problem for us guys. When it comes to romance we’re…well…pretty crap really! :S

For me it’s an age thing, I think. I started off well when I was at primary school, painstakingly coming up with heartfelt rhymes every valentine’s day. You know the deal; huge, padded card that needed its own seat with hundreds of “lurve” opems on the inside. Haha. “Roses are red, violets are blue, most girls smell apart from you”. Unfortunately my handwriting resembled a drunk spider with inky feet; I tend to smudge the ink all over the pages. Darmned parkerspen.

Into my late teens, I had a fair bit of money from bets or gaming events and I could be a bit more adventurous. No longer did I need the excuses of valentine’s day or birthday; I could go for the surprise gift; the sort that just says “you mean everything to me”. Those kinda of me2u bears, cardholders and other sorta crap; on that period of my life I did mature quite dramatically once in my later teens.

In my first BIG relationship I was always coming up with romantic gestures; birthday trip to Bandar for the weekend, or just cruise down to miri. But if I’d taken my other half with me it probably would have been a little more lovey-dovey I suppose. I’m kidding of course but looking back perhaps I just needed an excuse for a holidayJ

Of course there were the candlelit dinners, flowers and chocolates but somewhere along the way it all got forgotten. And I don’t think I’m alone in that respect. Perhaps it’s something to do with the way technology has impacted or screwed how we communicate with each other; the love letters we used to post started to be replaced by emails; and now look even the email has been superseded by the text so the hot date you took out on Friday get a max of 160 characters on a Saturday morning along with lines of “Gr8 2cu yesterday, LOL @ d movi, U ok 4 MON? L8R” WTF is wrong with poklen textin nowadays~ wouldn’t that just convince you it was a match made in heaven? Thank god I don’t text like that. J

However there is hope for us just about lost causes; the INTERNET, perfect for the couch potato living inside all of us. I did a search on “romantic gestures” and ended up at a site called www.askmen.com that said ‘relationship are like glaciers’ and they had some interesting tips on putting the chilli padi back into coupledommm.

From the obvious ‘breakfast in bed’ to a ‘shoulder massage’ there were some good starters.”obviously we are asians; typical asians guys stay with their parents till their late 20’s and how could we do those above if it doesn’t upset your parents.rofl” My favourite was from someone who wrote in saying theirs parents always slow dance to their favourite song; even if they were around shopping or dining. Now isn’t that romantic? Just don’t try it at a restaurant or a open-aired foodcourt. J

You would think then that I’d be apathetic about vday or a bday. I’m not. It acts as a great reminder; a big relationship signpost; a marker on the sand; a date for your diary. Or rather, the lazy man’s way out! So I’ll be good to go. Chocolates, cards, love notes left round inside her bag or jacket and flowers- all sorted. And I am ready to go!

W O R D S

Forgive me tonight, as I can’t think of anything beautiful to write. Still, you rest in my heart, as you do every minute of every day. Words, fall from my heart, words not destined for pages of long , but those words are heartfelt.

Some would call this love I hold in my heart foolishly, and would have me keep that love for another. They do not see, and I cannot explain. There is no other for me, nor will there be in this life. What may not be right for another; breathes life into my soul.

There are many things I have learned from this life, some about love. You can be with someone every day of your life and still be all alone, and you can be separated by oceans and be together always.

Tonight, when I sit and reminisce, I will be thinking of you. The moon will hear the words I say, the blessings I send, and the wishes I hold in my heart, not only for me, but for you...

I will send these things to you in the rainy gloomy night, along with all the love I hold in my heart. May the gentle breeze carry my words to you, and may sweet dreams always fill your sleep... Dearest;

xoxo p/s ~ "A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, and find out that in the end it’s never meant to be and you just have to let go.":')

wondering

In case you’re wondering, if it all changed tomorrow; my heart would stay the same. If you became invisible to the world, I would still see you. No matter where this life leads you, my love will stay constant. When the day is done and the lights go out, I’ll be here sending that love your way. So remember that when the days get long and you wonder who is out there and i will be there waiting for you. I fell in love with the women inside not the pretty package. No matter what happens, you will always have a place in my heart that cannot be replaced...

C R U S H

I can say that i've a crush on a person; if you have a feeling for her and you care what is happening in her life and what so ever; you accept their personality for the good or bad. You can say that you have a crush of improving feelings for her if you find personalities of a person you like. You try to find out some stuff about that person to see if you're compatable. I would say that you know when you have a crush on someone when you start thinking about them every minute of the day, you care about them in a way that you wouldn't usually and you always care about what they think about you. You get a weird feeling in your heart and mind whenever they are around you...

Sometimes, feelings for a crush can be confusing because you aren't sure how to act around her. You could have mixed feelings. When you see her, a part of you might feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide. Another part of you might imagine your crush noticing you and sharing the same feelings; i wish she would(not in a 1000000years)~ even though you know she will probably never will. It's still fun to imagine! YEAH RIGHT ZZZZ. You might or might not want to tell other people who your crush is. It can be fun to talk with friends about it, but sometimes even the closes of friends teases about crushes. Getting teased is never fun,D: When you have a crush on someone and you find out that she likes you, too, it's a wonderful beautiful feeling like my friend dominiquejong always said at the club. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. It's hard to find out that the person you like doesn't feel the same way about you. You might feel sad, disappointed, and rejected.I wouldn't wanna feel that; those feelings can last for a while and very LONG WHILE, but they will eventually fade.

The best thing for me in this situation is to just wait. You never open a door with a person that has a door open with another person. She is a good girl yet playful, and i am trying to be respectful. Deep down, I don't think she'll respect me if i told her that i liked her while she's in a relationship. The best thing for me to do, is be a friend, date other girls, and wait it out. If my feelings for her are as deep as i've said they're(1year; a crush that last 1year ZZZ), Then they will not die out. Then if she ever breaks up, i'll be in the wing waiting; but ohwell the matter of fact is i don't even stand a chance or never in my wildest dream she would even think of me...

no x's or o's for toniite; SIGHS. I WILL BE/LEONALEWIS PLAYIN D':

p/s ~ "It is not telling you how I feel that scares me it's what you'll say back." dilemmamuch

Walkaway

as i watch the raindrops falling tonight as i witness the raindrops breaking silence i found myself dreamin of you i draw your face in the sky because i miss you i can see your eyes staring back at me ohwell; how i wish it is the look of love i am seeing in you i love you my dearest but as i look deeply into your soul i realize that those eyes don't mean at all staring at me blankly, lifeless, without love..

, sighs..

LOVE HURTS;

Love hurts when the one you love does not love you back. Love hurts when you find out the one you love, loves someone else. Love hurts when you give up your beliefs to make love work and it doesn't work. Love hurts when you get married to the one you love and it meant nothing to the one you love. Love hurts so much you feel like dying because you wonder if you can ever love again. Love is supposed to be special but how can it be if Love does not work. Love is what I was looking for when I found you because the one that I truly loved was here all along on earth right around me. Love hurts when everything about you is taken away. You could have done me a favor and stabbed me in the heart because i have no use for it now. Thank you for showing me the true meaning of love. Love hurts.....................

LOVE..THE MYSTERY IT GIVES. H U R T

As I sit infront of my table having my own time with the silence of the night while the rain drops falls quietly onto the roof,there was this question that keeps on knocking in my mind..."why does love hurts?" I am aware that I am not the only one who thought about this obnoxious fact,but really...why does it hurts???:(

I am no longer a newbie about love and haven't been in a couple of relationship that during those time i believed it's almost perfect...I can still remember the first one which gave me the feeling of having butterflies on my tummy,or that time when i held her hand and I felt like I was the most happiest human there is; on that moment,and oh yeah you remember the time that you feel like the world stops from spinning?or how about that feeling of being on the place they called cloud nine?Those feelings are real we felt it but they're all just too good to be true to lasts...that's what i realized now (but it's really hard to wake up from this dreamy feeling)...so you experience that? and after wards what? you're going to devote yourself to your love interest,doing things that you hated to do just to prove your love,commit yourself faithfully and worship them,putting them into pedestal, offering and showering them the purity of your love that most of the time we forgot to leave even a single strand of self loving to ourselves...when we fall in love we always do this: thinking of our gf/bf first before ourselves,the question is...is it worth it?or to rephrase it,does some of them deserve it?:(

We felt that love sometimes makes us blind to notice that we fell for the wrong person but since we believed in what we feel,we just kept ignoring those signs that they are not the right one,instead we keep pushing more to make the relation work,we strive to prove that it is really what we think it is and in the end we only suffers.We can't avoid failed relationships so we have to be broad minded when it comes to commitment but lets face it,no matter how imperfect our relationship was,it still stings once it ends, maybe because we have some regrets,the and the truth that no matter how we avoid or prevent it,we are all victims of it...specially when we thought that we're in love with the person but the fact is we're just in love with love.:(

I've been there,and i was badly hurt,since then i was so cautious when it comes to love matters.As i thought that i can run away from it? Or can I just hibernate to be safe from it? Or shield myself with numbness to become exemption and deprive myself from love itself? But time came that i realized this..."I am no fool"..I am just a wishful thinker...being hurt by love is tiring...yet again once it knocks I cant just move away now and ignore it instead i welcome love with open arms,love aint that bad all the time,right?This time whatever it takes,I am a willing victim.. Shall i tell her? how i felt about her? but she is in a relationship i guess:(

...and reviewing this blog i am writing right now leaves me with dumb founded reactions...i can't really point out which is which...all i can understand now is we are all victims of love and we can do nothing with it ...when it comes to love we can't say no once it strucks,the more you run away from it the persistent it chases you,the more you ignore the feeling the more it haunts you..that's how powerful it is....to sum it all,GO.. let yourself get involve in love but dont overdo it...hahaha... now.... I stop myself from whinning about it...(sigh)....i got tired from running...now i give myself in...tonight...i will embrace love once more... Ohwell maybe not tonight XD

xo p/s ~ Love had no definitions, as they say. But it seems so right ! I dont know where it begun, and all i know, it is true and unexplainable. But why do people pretend that they love someone else even if they dont? Funniest thing in the world, PRETENDING..

LOVE ... LOVE ... LOVE ... would you consider me miss. ooops almost XD